quotidian mysteries

it depends, no really, it does, on the situation, the people involved and their relationship at that moment...
let me expand a bit, my parents are both very verbal, and skilled in the ways of word play, it was a part of growing up, it wasn't hurtful altho some was quite sarcastic... so, there No, not an abuse
and then off to college where sarcasm was often a verbal strike against you... I could play the word game well and often was perhaps more retalitory than was neccessary... and Yes, that was often verbal abuse (& verbal defense on occassion)

Great insights Debb!

This question was prompted by hearing my children utilize sarcasm in hurtful ways and then when they were confronted with their siblings hurt feelings they would reply, "Geez, I was only kidding. Can't anyone take a joke around here?"

I explained that I thought sarcasm in this circumstance, was unequivocally abusive. First, they used sarcasm to say something unkind and then they tried to deny responsiblity by using sarcasm to turn the expressed hurt back onto the offended person.

Words hurt just as much as fists; and,we have a zero tolerance in our home for these kinds of things....

sacrasm directed at a person is much different than sacrasm directed toward or about a situation or issue (like politics -easy to be sarcastic there)

We had to own it if we said it, so I got very good at remembering exactly what the words being said were, both by myself & by others around me...still a skill I use.

I'm glad you are teaching your childern what hurtful words can do & to be responsible for what they say (& by extension) do

Good for you