quotidian mysteries

Isn't it strange how grief has a way of sneaking up on you?

My mother died earlier this year, and today a wave of grief washed over me. I thought I had dealt with the finality of her death months ago.

I guess this just isn't the sort of loss a person ever "get's over", is it?

In, and of itself, "No!" is a complete sentence.

Why is it so hard to just say no and let it be no?

"Who would Jesus bomb?"

I saw this printed on a sign at the farmer's market yesterday.

Who would Jesus bomb?

And, what kind of lame assed question is this anyway?

Hmmm?

I think what the protester was really asking is this: "How can you be a Christian and condone any form of violence, especially war?"

That's the better question I think.

Let's just leave Jesus out of it, shall we?

Lately I've noticed that my fear of people is slipping away.

I'm more open, more interested, more talkative will all manner of people.

More importantly, it no longer seems to bother me so much to be on the outside looking in.

Why do you suppose this is?

What has changed?

Isn't "disambiguation" a crazy word?

What happens when a person grows too tired to care anymore?

The wars still continue.

Children still suffer.

The world is still used and abused.

Hunger still prevails.

If we lose the desire to pray, to walk gently, to care about life itself, what happens then?

Does any of it matter?

Sometimes, on days when I am weary, when I cannot still the voices inside to hear the quiet rhythm of God's love, I wonder....

....what's the point?

And then I remember.

God.

God is the point and only He can restore, and only He can renew.

When Lord?

When will you relieve this weariness from me?

Will I ever fit in?

Will I always be that square peg in a world full of round holes?

Must I always be the one to smooth my corners, to soften my edges in order to be accepted and loved?

Is "fitting in" all that it's cracked up to be?

Do I really want to fit after all?